hellos and goodbyes

what i hate most about going home is the going away again.

three years ago, my family bid me goodbye at the airport full of happiness and goodlucks. i kissed them with sadness that was engulfed by elation, excitement and anticipation. i was finally going away to live my dream! never mind that i was leaving my family, i'd be sending them money anyway so they could build our dreamhouse and buy trinkets they want. in short, the airport scene wasn't that crying-hugging-sniffing sort we usually expect to see.

the homesickness caught up to me after a month though. i missed my mum's cooking. i missed my three-hour rendezvous at starbucks with friends to goss about anybody we could think of. i missed my brothers and sisters and how they bug me with the littlest of things.

eventually, i got tired of thinking about home and immersed myself in a flurry of things to do with school, three jobs, no-free-time, tv, and other minute hobbies to fill my time. i became too busy that three years hence, i never went home even for a holiday.

but it seems the forces had been conniving to make me go back home (or maybe zed's prayers have finally been answered). so finally (albeit unwillingly) i boarded the plane that would take me back to manila.

and what do you know. the moment i saw my sister, i ran to her and hugged her tightly and just let all the tears i have to flow out freely and without reservation. unmindful of that heat wave that closed in on me at 3 in the afternoon. or the pollution. or the faceless people who are barricaded away from their arriving loved ones. or everything else that's characteristic of manila. i am home.

but no matter how short or long my stay was, or how many catching-up i could squeeze into my unplanned visit, i had to go. and this time, the aiport scene was the typical crying-hugging-sniffing corny stuff we see. but it didn't matter. i know i am going to miss my family and i would like to hug and kiss and cry with them before i go.