"tabatabachingching"

good break

when my husband said we're going down south towards kangaroo valley, i didn't really expect much. we've been there before and though i did enjoy the trip that time, we went to the beach instead of hiking up to see some falls. fitzroy falls in fact. nevertheless, it was a welcome break from overseeing the city from our veranda.

we drove for almost three hours to the site (during which i tortured my husband almost the whole time by screaming that i had to have a kidney break). we went from the great big highways to little country towns, through roads barred on both sides by towering trees, or farm houses littered by cows and horses, and finally to roads with hand-written names (but still paved, surprisingly).

the falls were magnificent. the view was overwhelming. the air was fresh and cool, pure, uncontaminated oxygen. breathtaking. we had our lunch and celebrated a colleague's birthday. we laid beside a nearby lake and enjoyed the fresh air while we can.

it was worth the long drive.

footprints in the sand

The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.

____________________________
footprints in the sand by Mary Stevenson

rain, rain, go away...

you would think spring is all clear skies, sunny but not too much, sweet smell of blooming flowers, fresh grasses and light green leaves. well, not today. nor for the whole long weekend.

yesterday and today are spelled out as R.A.I.N. can't go to the beach for spring picnic or bike riding. it's even depressing to go out and do some grocery shopping.

i've always thought rain has a funereal excrescence. it is terribly oppressive, forcing people to go about their business with such melancholy demeanor. yup, little children can't go out and play.

oh well, the land needs it though. and badly.

so i just look at baby pat and see how busy she was opening her birthday presents.

In search of rain

After four years of drought in the little village, the parish priest gathered everybody to make a pilgrimage to the mountain; there they would join in communal prayer to ask for rain.

In the middle of the group the priest noticed a boy all wrapped up in warm clothes and covered by a raincoat.

"Are you crazy?" he asked. "It hasn’t rained in this region for five years and you’ll die of the heat climbing the mountain!"

"I’ve got a cold, father. If we are going to pray to God for rain, can you imagine the climb back down? The downpour is going to be so heavy that it’s better to be prepared."

At that very moment a loud roar was heard in the sky and the first drops began to fall. The faith of a boy was enough to work a miracle that thousands of men were praying for.

______________________________

article is from paulo coelho's warrior of the light

photo is from simple things

good morning, sunday!

i've always liked sunday mornings.

i remember waking up lazily to sunday radios tuned to stations playing abba. then we'd have (very) garlicky fried rice topped with runny eggs and dried fish for breakfast. very yummy indeed. then off we'd go with the neighbourhood kids to play chinese garter or piko (hopscotch) or agawan-base (capture the base) until our mother shouts out to say that lunch is ready.

a couple of decades past and i still love these sunday mornings. i would wake up at 4 in the morning and sit out in the veranda holding my steaming hot chocolate (with a teaspoon of coffee) just to watch the world start to stir and be alive. THAT few hours of standstill is what i call PEACE. stripped of the noises of everyday life, bared of the daytime glare of the sun or the razzle-dazzle lights at night. not even the birds are awake yet.

PEACE. its just me, my coffee, the chilling wind and the sky.

yes, for a few hours, i do not have to think of anything at all.

happy birthday baby pat!!!

it's the little things that you miss.

"i'm dobby on you"

As predicted by most, my little zed is adapting very well with his studies and is rapidly developing his vocabulary, what with his school and classmates and dvds and kid-stuff telly.

One night, whilst we were doing his homework, I reprimanded him for doing it hastily just so he could squeeze a bit more into his playtime. He pouted and said, “Mommy, I’m dobby on you!”

I stopped to think. What?! Dobby? Dubby? Dabby? Harry Potter’s house-elf friend Dobby?

I asked him to explain what he said because I just can’t make out what he means. He told me that his classmate said that when he did something wrong and therefore that would have meant something like you did something wrong to me so I’m brooding/sulking.

Could be an Australian slang then?

Unfortunately, I’ve had no luck finding out what that word means even after googling it. Maybe I should just ask his teacher or classmate about it.

Oh well. Since that night, it has become part of our everyday life. Never a day passes without this scene:

Mommy!!! I’m dobby on you.
I’m dobby on you, too.
I’m dobby on you one hundred.
I’m dobby on you one million!
I’m dobby on you one…hundred…thousands…one…million…!

and on it goes.

________________

photo credit

Servant Girl and Grocer’s Boy

Her lips’ remark was: “Oh, you kid!”
Her soul spoke thus (I know it did):

“O king of realms of endless joy,
My own, my golden grocer’s boy,

I am a princess forced to dwell
Within a lonely kitchen cell,

While you go dashing through the land
With loveliness on every hand.

Your whistle strikes my eager ears
Like music of the choiring spheres.

The mighty earth grows faint and reels
Beneath your thundering wagon wheels.

How keenly, perilously sweet
To cling upon that swaying seat!

How happy she who by your side
May share the splendors of that ride!

Ah, if you will not take my hand
And bear me off across the land,

Then, traveller from Arcady,
Remain awhile and comfort me.

What other maiden can you find
So young and delicate and kind?”

Her lips’ remark was: “Oh, you kid!”
Her soul spoke thus (I know it did).

________________
by Joyce Kilmer

because i have NOTHING to do...

You are Left-brained!

Most left-brained people like you feel at ease in situations requiring verbal ability, attention to detail, and linear, analytical ability. Whether you know it or not, you are a much stronger written communicator than many, able to get your ideas across better than others.

It's also likely that you are methodical and efficient at many things that you do. You could also be good at math, particularly algebra, which is based on very strict rules that make sense to your logical mind.

____________________
The Brain Test by Tickle

little zed misses lola

after dinner last night, i went straight to our "isolation room" to prevent my flu virus to spread to my family. i left the rest of the night's work with my husband, including taking care of zed.

apparently, just before going to bed, zed asked for some oatmeal which my husband prepared at once, without even asking me (and why would he ask, right?).

lo and behold! immediately after devouring his milo-flavoured oatmeal, zed felt some prickling sensations on several spots on his back which he didn't pay much attention to apart from scratching them. the itching however kept coming and spreading all over his back, his belly, then his arms and legs. he panicked, and his dad panicked upon seeing the rashes all over his body and went straight to my room hoping i have the answer and cure!

besides telling them to get away from me, i gave zed his allergy medicine.

______________________

later that night, zed told his dad, "daddy, kelan tayo uuwi? miss ko na si lola."

130am

yup. 130am, monday morning.

i am still awake, messing with my blog's template and widgets and what-nots. tomorrow (or should i say today) is the second to the last day of the month, meaning deadlines, cutoffs, reports, statements.

and i've got the flu.

it's going to be a wonderful week.

_________

cute flu clipart from here

hellos and goodbyes

what i hate most about going home is the going away again.

three years ago, my family bid me goodbye at the airport full of happiness and goodlucks. i kissed them with sadness that was engulfed by elation, excitement and anticipation. i was finally going away to live my dream! never mind that i was leaving my family, i'd be sending them money anyway so they could build our dreamhouse and buy trinkets they want. in short, the airport scene wasn't that crying-hugging-sniffing sort we usually expect to see.

the homesickness caught up to me after a month though. i missed my mum's cooking. i missed my three-hour rendezvous at starbucks with friends to goss about anybody we could think of. i missed my brothers and sisters and how they bug me with the littlest of things.

eventually, i got tired of thinking about home and immersed myself in a flurry of things to do with school, three jobs, no-free-time, tv, and other minute hobbies to fill my time. i became too busy that three years hence, i never went home even for a holiday.

but it seems the forces had been conniving to make me go back home (or maybe zed's prayers have finally been answered). so finally (albeit unwillingly) i boarded the plane that would take me back to manila.

and what do you know. the moment i saw my sister, i ran to her and hugged her tightly and just let all the tears i have to flow out freely and without reservation. unmindful of that heat wave that closed in on me at 3 in the afternoon. or the pollution. or the faceless people who are barricaded away from their arriving loved ones. or everything else that's characteristic of manila. i am home.

but no matter how short or long my stay was, or how many catching-up i could squeeze into my unplanned visit, i had to go. and this time, the aiport scene was the typical crying-hugging-sniffing corny stuff we see. but it didn't matter. i know i am going to miss my family and i would like to hug and kiss and cry with them before i go.

naalala ko lang habang papasok ako sa trabaho...

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?

_____________________________
Maraming salamat sa aming Fuzzy Wuzzy, Father O'B.
Dahil sa kanya, marunong ako ngayong magsalita ng Ingles
nang may tamang pro-NUN-ciation!
(At sa lahat ng dapat kong ipagpasalamat sa kanya.)

confessions of a squirmy mummy

whew! a toast to us for surviving zed's first week in his new school! now i understand why those silly mums rant over the radio about sending their sons/daughters on the first day of school! it was indeed scary, to say the least.

for starters, you worry about how your child is going to fit in with his classmates. and with zed starting school during the third term, i keep thinking it would be hard for him to make friends since those kindies have made their own groups of friends already.

flashback to my own elementary days when a newbie is transferred into our class from a different one or even a different school. we'd be warm and friendly, of course, but there's still that awkward feeling.

what more with zed who barely speaks and understand english? even with all the assurances of my own friends and family that children usually adapt very well with their new environment, it still gives me the jitters.

and then there's the school rules. no chocolates for lunch. no nutella sandwiches. never share your baon with anyone because you never know if your friends have allergies to the food you give them. always wear this. never wear that. no jumping and hopping and running.

now how am i supposed to make a 5-year-old understand that? a 5-year old boy who never fail to make me sick with worry when we go to the supermarket for all the running and jumping and hiding he does?

as i found out soon enough, it wasn't that hard at all! i speak with zed's teacher every morning at their assembly line and she says he's doing pretty well with the school activities, even ahead than the other children since he's had two years of formal schooling previously. he's adapting to the routines and activities, and there are a few filo kids as well who understand tagalog even if they can't speak it well.

and i am learning quite a bit about the australian way of schooling too, which is quite different from what i am used to. easier, for one. no everyday assignment, only weekly ones, which are comparable to that daily pinoy homework. one whole day of studying (9am to 3pm) is one subject.

mondays are art days, tuesdays are spelling and reading, wednesdays are nature (science) days, thursdays are gymnastics, and fridays are fun days.

hmmm. one whole day of drawing and painting and messing about? one whole day of P.E.? THAT would have been put to good use while i was in college, especially since i always use up my cuts for P.E.!

and a fun day? i wonder what they do then (i'm guessing math day? hehehe). i wonder what would happen if we had the same schedule in elementary. i reckon it would have been more fun than our one-hour-math, one-hour-science, one-hour-M.A.P.E, etc schedule.

oh, and yes, the lunchpack. i gave him steamed rice and fried chicken on his first day, his usual baon during his nursery and kinder years in nclc. it turned out he's the only one who's got rice for lunch! so much for blending in, huh.

into week two now. i'm still fidgety but considerably less than last week.

faith enough?

the ice is thin enough for walkin'
the rope is worn enough to climb
throat is dry enough for talkin'

storm is wild enough for sailing
bridge is weak enough to cross
this body frail enough for fighting
i'm home enough to know i'm lost

land unfit enough for planting
barren enough to conceive
poor enough to gain the treasure
enough a cynic to believe

confused enough to know direction
sun eclipsed enough to shine
be still enough to finally tremble
see enough to know i'm blind

it's just enough to be strong
in the broken places
should the world rely on faith tonight

- jars of clay's faith enough

disappear

i watch you smile
you steal the show
you take a bow
the curtain falls in front of you
you're magical, on display
i gaze into your eyes
and you turn to look the other way.

but i'd really love to know
i'd really love to climb my way
into your heart
and see what i could find.

i'd walk into your skin
swim through your veins
see it from your eyes
cause i'd really love to try.

standing still
but my mind is trying to escape
looking for a place to hide
it's not safe but i'm so near
invading every place you go to disappear

i'd walk into your skin
swim through your veins
see it from your eyes
i'd really love to try
i'd really love to know
i'd really wanna to climb into your soul

i want to get inside the you that you are hiding from.


- jars of clay's disappear

reunited

exactly five years ago to this day,

we were at the airport bidding goodbye.

tonight, we are eating dinner together. finally.

all grown up

(and then there were four)

ambivalence

Going home. Is it really like this for everyone?

My heart skips two beats at a time. My stomach's confused about what it ought to do: it keeps churning even if it shouldn't. My feet are heavy, almost as if they would rather stay where they're at. My hands are trembling, my palms sweaty. My thoughts never been as swirling. Like a mixture of fruits in a blender prepared for a smoothie, you can never tell which fruit is which.

Some thoughts would want to make me cry. Some make me dread the inevitable touchdown and even make me wish that I die right here and now, here, in the presence of tranquil clouds unmindful of my existence. It is but one part of my life after all. As Chris Gardner had done in the pursuit of his own "happyness", maybe I could name this part of my life "stupidity", but nevertheless rise up from such state and continue my own pursuit, hoping that eventually, I would arrive at the end victorious. But walking this road of uncertainty is as hard as I could have ever asked for. I have reached the dead ends. The only way to go to the other side is to climb this tall and sturdy wall in front of me, with nothing but my heavy feet and trembling, sweaty hands for weapons.

But then I would remember Santiago who never stopped until he reached his Pyramids, which would again give some kind of hope. Maybe, just maybe, if I meet a gypsie, and a king, and an alchemist, they would show me the way to climb the wall, and point out the weapons that I have all along.

But for now, I am left with this turmoil. A battle within. While the plane starts to descend.

mag-ingat. magsikap lumigaya.

second semester, first year college. sa mga kapwa ko gabayano unang narinig ang mga salitang "maganda ang buhay". kung tatanungin mo ang mga gabayano kung ano ang motto nila (tulad ng tinatanong sa mga slumbook noong elementary), malamang marami sa amin na iyan ang ilalagay. di nagtagal, nalaman ko na rin ang buong kasaysayan ng mga salitang ito. isang kuya ang nagbigay sakin ng salin ng Desiderata sa Tagalog. mula noon, palagi na akong nagtatago ng kopya nito saan man. at heto, gusto ko rin syang ilagay dito.

---

Humayo nang panatag
Sa gitna ng ingay at pagmamadali, at tandaang
May kapayapaang matatagpuan sa katahimikan.
Hangga’t maaari nang walang pagsuko,
Makipagkapwa-tao.
Bigkasin ang iyong katotohanan nang mahinahon at
Malinaw, at makinig sa iba, kahit sa mapurol o mangmang:
Sila ma’y may kanilang salaysayin.

Iwasan ang mga taong maingay at magaspang; sila’y
Nakakarindi sa diwa.
Kung ihahambing mo ang sarili sa iba, maaaring
Maging hambog at masamain ang loob pagka’t
Laging may hihigit sa iyo at may hihigtan ka.
Masiyahan ka sa iyong mga natamo, gayundin sa iyong mga balak.
Manatiling buhos ang iyong kalooban sa mga gawain, gaano man
Kababa; tunay itong kayamanan sa nagbabagong panahon.
Maging maingat sa pakikipagkalakalan pagka’t ang mundo’y
Batbat ng panlilinlang. Subalit huwag hayaang
Makabulag ito sa iyon sa anumang kabutihang mayroon; maraming
Nagpupunyagi para sa mga adhikaing dakila; at sa lahat ng dako,

Ang buhay ay lipos ng kabayahinan.
Huwag magkunwari laluna ng pagmamahal.
Huwag ding tatalikuran ang pag-ibig, pagka’t sa gitna ng
Katigangan at kalungkutan, kailanma’y uusbong
At nabubuhay itong tulad ng damo.
Maluwag na tanggapin ang payo ng katandaan; banayad
Na isuko ang mga bagay ng kamusmusan.
Arugain ang tibay ng loob na sasalag sa mga biglaang
Sakuna. Ngunit huwag panlulumo sa mga guni-guni.
Maraming takot ang dulot ng pagod at kalungkutan.
Sa kabila ng malusog na disiplina, maging mabait sa iyong sarili.

Anak ka ng sanlibutan, tulad ng mga punungkahoy at bituin;
May lugar ka rito. At malinaw man sa iyo o hindi,
Walang alinlangang bumubukadkad ang daigdig ayon sa nararapat
Kaya maging panatag ka sa Diyos, anuman ang pagkakakilala mo sa kanya,
At anuman ang iyong mga gawain at mithiin, sa maingay na
Kalituhan ng buhay, panatilihin mong panatag ang iyong kalooban.
Sa kabila ng panlilinlang, kawalang-buhay at mga gumuguhong pangarap,
Maganda pa rin ang mundo.

Mag-ingat. Magsikap lumigaya.

---

(salin sa Tagalog ng Desiderata ni Max Ehrmann)

half year anniversary

it has been exactly six months since my last post here. i cannot believe i have been that busy. because i haven't. i was just procrastinating. i kept putting everything off. but i was a little busy, yes.

since my last entry here, i have finished my studies and am now due to graduate this may. i have also finished two years of backlog on our financial statements, so, with thanks to the gods of high heavens, we are now up-to-date. lastly, i've been busy with creating our website! mind you, i am starting from scratch! i had to learn photoshop, dreamweaver, html, and all those what-nots, to figure out how to create a stupid elementary website! and i had to cram them in two months!

but all those have been done so, here i am, ready to move on and relax a for a while.

(photo from here)